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Jokes, Stories & Humour
This section includes various jokes, stories and poems which are very useful
for laughter and learning in our daily life.
Please send any jokes, stories and poems to be included in this section.
Thanks in advance for your cooperation
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JOKES
A perfect man and a perfect woman
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.
Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving Their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress.
Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys.
Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the
perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.
Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident.
Who was the survivor?
>
> (Scroll down for the answer.)
>
> .
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> .
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> .
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The perfect woman survived.
She's the only one who really existed in the first place.
Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing
As a perfect man.
>
> **** Women please stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.
> Men keep scrolling. *******
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
>
> So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must
> Have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
>
> By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this
> illustrates another point:
>
> Women never listen either.
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POETRY
SILENCE
by Anasuya Sengupta
Anasuya Sengupta is a senior at Lady Sri Ram College in New Delhi.
She sent this poem to Hillary Rodham Clinton, who made it the centerpiece of her speech in India.
Too many women in too many countries speak the same language of silence.
My grandmother was always silent - always aggrieved
- only her husband had the cosmic right (or so it was said) to speak and be heard.
They say it is different now
(after all, I am always vocal and my grandmother thinks I talk too much).
But sometimes, I wonder.
When a woman gives her love, as most do generously - it is accepted.
When a woman shares her thoughts, as some women do, graciously - it is allowed.
When a woman fights for power, as all women would like to, quietly or loudly,
it is questioned.
And yet, there must be freedom - if we are to speak.
And yes, there must be power - if we are to be heard.
And when we have both (freedom and power), let us not be misunderstood.
We seek only to give words to those who cannot speak
(too many women in too many countries).
I seek only to forget the sorrows of my grandmother's silence.
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STORIES
A. HEAVEN & HELL - The real difference
A man spoke with the Lord about heaven and hell.
The Lord said to the man, "Come, I will show you hell.
"They entered a room where a group of people sat around
huge pot of stew. Everyone was famished, desperate and starving.
Each held a spoon that reached the pot, but each spoon had a
handle so much longer than their own arm that it could not be used to get
the stew into their own mouths. The suffering was terrible.
"Come, now I will show you heaven," the Lord said after a while. They
entered another room, identical to the first -the pot of stew, the
group of
people, the same long-handled spoons. But there everyone was happy and
well-nourished."I don t understand," said the man. "Why are they happy
here when they were miserable in the other room and everything was the
same?"The Lord smiled, "Ah, it is simple," he said.
"Here they have learned to feed each other."
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B. TOGETHERNESS
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food
and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in N.Y.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" So I suggested, "How about the
kitchen?"
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the
carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."
7. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost
weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!
8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
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